Three Years Without a Pulitzer

     It is a tradition—okay, I did it once, but if I do it again it’s a tradition—for me to write a song in my own honor on the anniversary of this Pulitzer-worthy blog.  I have selected a song which perfectly matches the calm atmosphere of literary contemplation found around this joint the last weekend in July.  You’re too young to recall the song “Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)”, but you can go to YouTube or something and listen.  It’s a pop culture Fiinnegan’s Wake in three verses, and that mix seemed about right.  Without further ado (so we can get it over with and move on), here is a ditty for this blog’s birthday.

Andy Warhol, Gary Larson, Rachel Ray and Rachel Carson,

Plath and Fine and Townsend Warner; price is in the upper corner

Paperbacks and laughing wax and pile ‘em up in even stacks

Stephen Hawking, Joy of Cooking, naughty comics (caught you looking)

Rosy prose with campfire vampire, twinkling since the Roman Empire

Big white whale and Henrik Ibsen, cyberpunk and William Gibson,

Hiawatha, Kalevala, S. Rachmaninoff, M. Falla,

Percy Shelley, Walter Kelly, Lefty Lewis, Martinelli

Scott Turow ‘n’ Nabokov ‘n’ Georgette Heyer, Come back often

Cho: Life is a fair but the Newberry booked me:

Gotta spend all my money: Uncle Blogsy hooked me

Life is a Fair but the Newberry booked me

Just used all of my savings: a day is all it took me.

Huntin’, lookin’, diggin’, hopin’, Saturday, when do you open?

Lookin’ Out for Number One ‘n’ William Shirer, Barefoot Running,

Roget, Bartlett, Webster, Fowler, Michael Hammer shoots a prowler,

Raymond Chandler, Ray Bradbury: can’t stop now, I’m in a hurry;

Callanetics, Dianetics, Maitz’s Psycho-Cyvbernetics,

Spence’s Ricci’s mental palace, Allan Sherman, Mirror Alice,

What’s the price sir, it’s too high sir, Grinch the Stealer, Scrooge the Miser,

Pages brown and turning browner, Sandburg, Frost, and Dr. Towner,

Harper Collins, Lippincott, McNally, Berkley, Whatcha got?

Cho: Life is a fair but the Newberry booked me:

Gotta spend all my money: Uncle Blogsy hooked me

Life is a Fair but the Newberry booked me

Just used all of my savings: a day is all it took me.

Ira Bach is out there walking, Marlo Thomas, William Paley,

Erskine Caldwell, Thomas Clancy, Ernest Weekly, Janet Dailey

C. Wright Mills and F. Lloyd Wright and Upper Right and You can write,

Graham Jory, Greeley Andrew, Terkel Studs and Royko Mike

Nora Roberts, Roger Tory, Erich Segal tells his story,

Thomas Pynchon, Theo Dreiser, Aristotle, growing wiser,

P for Peril, L for Lawless, V for Vengeance, M for Malice,

Frank Frazetta, Scarlet Letter, Snag It, Bag it, Let ‘em Tag It

Stephen King and Ya-Ya Sisters: Banana boxes give me blisters

Cho: Life is a fair but the Newberry booked me:

Gotta spend all my money: Uncle Blogsy hooked me

Life is a Fair but the Newberry booked me

Just used all of my savings: a day is all it took me.