Thanksgiving On the Dock | Newberry

Thanksgiving On the Dock

I have spoken to you about this before, this expectation that libraries will be open 24/7, so that whenever you feel like considering the relationship of Fredegund and Chilperic, you have access to histories of Dark Ages France. (I think they were made for each other and that story about her and the soldier was just talk.) But it really isn’t a paying proposition to keep the joint lit and alive with personnel just because you like sitting at a table and poring over old books at 2 on Christmas morning. Nor, to make it a bit more personal, can Uncle Blogsy really wait around all day so you can donate those Christmas Encyclopedias around Midnight on your way to a Black Friday Sale.

Christmas Encyclopedias are missing Volume 12, so there is No L. Stop interrupting.

So let us move to the heart of the matter. Is the Newberry closed over the next four days?

To that I can answer a firm “Yes and No”. Oh, if my parents hadn’t insisted on my going to Sunday School I might have made a great politician.

We are locked up tight on Thanksgiving Day. Watch parades, watch football, eat turkey. Do not come knocking on our door.

On Black Friday and Plaid Saturday, the exhibit galleries are open, so you can see our 125th anniversary (Quasquicentennial) exhibtion, admire all the Quasquicentennial (125th anniversary) merchandise at the A.C. (All Centennials) McClurg Bookstore, and, if the crowds have not ticked off security, use the restrooms. (If enough people come in to use the potty and don’t even GLANCE at the exhibits or the merchandise, the doors mysteriously lock and do not unlock until Cyber Monday.)

If you look over that list carefully, you will note that it says nothing about Book fair donations on Black Friday and Puce Saturday. That is because Uncle Blogsy does not intend to be there on Black Friday or Aquamarine Saturday. We operate on a skeleton staff during such times, and anyone who has seen Uncle Blogsy will testify that he is no skeleton.

It isn’t that I don’t WANT to be at my usual pop stand on Black Friday and Burnt Umber Saturday. It’s just that I need to get out and do my own shopping once in a while. (I can’t giver EVERYBODY on my list books; they get suspicious). And I, too, would like to spend part of Black Friday and Periwinkle Saturday like the rest of America: thinking of new and interesting ways to use up turkey bits. (I am still perfecting my recipe for Turkey Liver Pizza. Maybe “perfecting” isn’t the word.)

So if you drop off books on Black Friday and Scarlet Saturday, there’s a good chance they will sit out until Monday. And you should know better than to leave your leftovers just sitting out that way. Please hold off until the building is out of Holiday Mode.

Happy Thanksgiving. Eat Pie. Enjoy the folks around you. Eat more Pie. Find some nice gifts on Black Friday and Turquoise Saturday. Come look at our nifty exhibit and go to the A.C. (Almost Christmas/Almost Channukah) McClurg Bookstore for more nice gifts. And don’t drop off any nice gifts for me while I’m out. I will be eating all the pie you weren’t quick enough to grab first.

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